on motherhood

We are given this gift, the wonderful pureness of a life. We are handed the opportunity to craft and mold this little person into adulthood and send them off into the world, in hopes that we have provided enough information, enough confidence and most importantly that we have instilled love and kindness in their little hearts. We are able to enrich our lives in caring and loving so deeply. A love that to me, cannot be described in a million words. The deepest, purest and most selfless love. Unconditional.

Yet, at times the challenges seem unbearable.

It feels like the moments of intensity can swallow you whole.

In a way motherhood is molding me.

Each day carving and sculpting a person I can look at and say damn....I actually admire this person.

The trying days are full of moments where your patience is almost nonexistent. Sleepless nights, tantrums, screaming, tossing of food all over the place, teething, colds, and barely a moment to yourself.

It can run you down and tear you apart.

And it has.

But without these moments, without these trials, I would not be half the person that I am today. These enduring times are what brings to light all the good and beautiful elements of being a mother.

All the pressure and doubt seems to dissipate when Valentino hugs me or just smiles at me. It only takes one second of his love to make me fall deeper. Again and again. 

Motherhood in all honesty is madness. 

Your entire planet feels like it is crashing down on you. You forget who you were. You get lost in the day to day tower of diapers, and homemade baby food. The lines start to blur, you feel isolated...

And yes, sometimes you want to run the other direction.

I have accepted that this is all okay. It is all a part of this beautifully terrifying journey. And I will take it all. Hell, I'd do it all over again.

In the grand scheme of it all, I have learned to stop, breathe deeply, and take it one step at a time. 

We are not perfect, we never will be, and our children do not know the difference. They will love us as long as we love them.

Motherhood has forced me to take it easy on myself, to be gentle and kind, and to look at the brighter side of things.

The magic is so overpowering and gratifying.

It gives you the freedom to explore yourself, a way to discover life through a little one's eyes, and allows you to enjoy moments that much more.